Archived Blond Jokes
Welcome to Weekly Blonde Jokes 6! (That is issue 6). The response to the return of our publishing jokes (we used to email daily, but those days are over a decade in the grave) has been very good. As a matter of fact the response to our coming back to life has been remarkable, it just makes me so happy, sniff. lol. Thank you everybody. Now to start this Monday off with a smile…
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill blonde appeared in the hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.
The horrified nurse asked, “Why didn’t you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?”
The lady replied,”My phone doesn’t have an eleven!”
Ok, I’ll try harder… Weekly blonde jokes, #2
A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.
The girl asks, “You haven’t got AIDS have you?”
He replies, “No.”
She responds, “Oh, thank heavens for that. I don’t want to get that again…!”
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.
The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
Approaching again, Sandy said, “Would you like me to be your friend?” The boy hesitated, then said, “Okay”, looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here alone?”
“Because,” the little boy said with great exasperation, “I’m the fucking goalie.”
What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that “love handles” referred to her ears?
Last one of the Weekly Blonde Jokes 6.
A blonde walked into a hairdresser’s with a pair of headphones on and asked the hairdresser for a haircut but said “don’t touch the headphones o.k.?”
“Fine” said the hairdresser, little taken aback, but happy for the work. Three weeks later, the same blonde returned and asked for another haircut but with the same condition, “Whatever you do … don’t touch the headphones!”
“No problem” said the hairdresser who went on to give her another good cut, considering the restraint.
Three weeks later, the same thing happened “and don’t forget, don’t touch the headphones” said the blonde.
Well, just as the hairdresser was finished, she couldn’t resist and she just lifted one side of the headphones up. The blonde promptly fell stone dead on the floor of the shop. “Oh my God, I think I’ve killed her” screamed the hairdresser. Out of curiosity she picked up the headphones and put them on herself.
“…breathe in…breathe out… breathe in…breathe out….”