About the Cardi B Song WAP
We are posting this article on Cardi B song WAP here on Laughshop.com, as we could not really write and post it on our other, more family friendly websites, like Friendslr.com. The subject matter of WAP is definitely adult oriented. Shoot, a lot of stuff we post here is, as well a G rated stuff. However, if you are on this particular page seeking the G rated stuff, move along buster.
The song itself, which we will dive into a little later, has caused quite a stir. Some younger folks I work with have been referencing her and the song. See, I’m an old white guy, and they know I likely have no frame of reference. Ha, google does exist!
So why write an article on WAP and Cardi B?
We don’t write a lot of articles here on Laughshop.com, but this article begged to be written. This site is humor oriented, as the more I read up on the person, Cardi B, and the song, the more I laughed. Not at her, nor it, specifically, but more at the uproar. More the “in-your-face” pandering and attention seeking of the song itself. Consequently, here we are adding to it.
First – Who is she?
Her real name is Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar. Growing up her nickname was Bacardi. That is a LOT easier, I’d go by Bacardi too. Cardi B is a deliberate misspelling of Bacardi. I have to say, great stage name! She could easily have been Belmar, which sounds too much like a horse track. There is a decent Wikipedia page on her here.
To cut to the chase, Cardi B has popped onto the scene and dominated it in a very short time. That means she has worked her tail off. Not only that, but a female rapper? Rare enough, but dominating the field? Rarer still.
I Looked It Up
Not having heard the WAP song, I could only guess what the acronym stood for. I thought it would be something deep and complicated. Nope. It sure isn’t complicated, nor, ahem, deep. Cough. Crude, to be sure. But not deep.
For those of you who have not discovered the meaning of WAP yet, I’ll break my own unwritten rule about deliberate crudeness here. It is not Wizards Are People. We All Partake. Work Alone Penelope.
It stands for Wet Ass Pussy. True story. When I found this out, all I could do was laugh.
There is a comedian from Europe, Finland, I think, who does a whole set on how English is confusing. The word ass, for example. You can be an ass (bad), you can be a bad ass (good) or even have a bad ass (bad). Further, you can have a big ass burger, which is apparently bigger than a big burger.
So, yeah, broken down, it could be wet ass, ass pussy, a prison favorite, or wet ass pussy, again, a, erm, used prison delight.
The Tune
Yes, this is a song, even if it is rap. It is lyrics set to music, so let’s look at the tune first.
Listening to this, not much to it, honestly. Slow, rhythmic, occasional slap sounds not unlike a mouse trap snapping. Discordant. Okay, not much of a tune, none-the-less it backs the focus, the lyrics, the words. These I found hysterical!
The lyrics – broken down
Here we’ll break down a small portion of the lyrics. Lyrics courtesy of Genius.com. Go there to see the rest of this. I only included a little bit.
Whores in this house
(repeated)
There’s some whores in this house (Hol’ up)
I said certified freak, seven days a week
Wet-ass pussy, make that pullout game weak, woo (Ah)
Okay, so it seems off the top this looks like she is talking about some other girls.
[Chorus: Cardi B]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fuckin’ with some wet-ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy
Well, maybe not. The word “me” rather than she or her is first person.
[Verse 1: Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion]
Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this pussy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Ahhahahahahaha! Like a credit card! Sure does tie sex and money together, don’t it?
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it’s insideSpit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This pussy is wet, come take a dive
Ew.
Tie me up like I’m surprised
Let’s roleplay, I’ll wear a disguise
“You be Groucho Marx and I’ll be Phyllis Diller…”
I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream
Out in public, make a scene
I don’t cook, I don’t clean
But let me tell you how I got this ring (Ayy, ayy)…
This “song” is crass. Sassy, sexually explicit, crass, x-rated, crude. And lazy. Miss Cardi B, you’re better than this. You have way more talent than this. How do you even follow this up? This song has so jumped the shark. For those who don’t know what that means, click here.
It’s one thing to shoot for a R rating, that has a certain appeal when it comes to the demographic targeted. However, an X rating, while in some cases can help market a property, really does limit the potential demographic.
Empowerment
Women have been in the backseat since the beginning of time, and in some places in the world, still are. However, women are just as capable as men at just about everything, (we men are built to lift things. Period), and more capable at a good many. Supporting the empowerment of women is critical. This song, I don’t know if this is a step backwards for women, or empowerment. Has not society demanded that “thou shalt not view women as life support systems for vaginas”? Does this song smack of overt sexism? Or is it, in fact, empowerment? And for the record, it would be equal off-putting is some guy were rapping about his dingus. That’s gross too.
Societal Norms
Deviant behavior exists, no question. Yes, there are people who are into all sorts of things better left unsaid, at least here, now. However, and generally speaking, potty-mouthing on the air is not okay. Putting potty-mouth songs out for young boys and girls to hear (and they WILL hear and they WILL be influenced) is flat out wrong. Always has been. Adult content and entertainment is best quietly left for adult consumption. Yet, the internet has made it much too easy for kids to view and hear things they ought not.
For one, I catch my granddaughter listing to this stuff, I’m going to be mighty unhappy.
@miu_m.in 잊고있던 초안속에 추억의 wap❣️ #wapchallange #dance #fyp #추천 @uggro
The Flip Side
There have been sexually explicit songs for decades. Start with The Byrds Triad in 1968, very racy for the day. How about pretty much everything penned by Prince? Double entendres not withstanding, most was pretty sexual. Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing. Work It from Missy Elliot Nine Inch Nails, Grace Jones, Aerosmith, My Neck My Back from Khia. The list is long! This is nothing new, cupcakes.
(W)rapping it all up
WAP seems to be in a class, maybe not of it’s own, but it’s a small class. And, about that jumped shark, how do you follow this up?
Well, here’s a thought, a follow up to WAP called NASTY
Nasty nasty nasty
So filthy filthy nasty (yeah)
Dirty filthy nasty
As nasty as it gets (ooh)
You know that I’m nasty
and you are nasty too
So come on over now
Warm cup of poo for two (barf)
Nasty nasty nasty
So filthy filthy nasty (yeah)
It makes me wanna vomit
when I can smell your arm pit
Dirty filthy nasty
That glove it has a funk
Oh that’s right
it got used up
it’s full of some guys gunk (hey)
When I tell people,
I love your cologne smell
I wish when I was texting
that I could learn to spell
You see I told my followers
how I smell your cologne
the only real problem is
I spelled it c-o-l-o-n (ah!)
Nasty nasty nasty
For now this meets its ends
So I will press Publish
Then change out my depends…
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