Cardi B Song WAP

September 20, 2020 by No Comments

About the Cardi B Song WAP

We are posting this article on Cardi B and her song WAP here on Laughshop.com, as we could not really write and post it on our other, more family friendly websites, like Friendslr.com. The subject matter of WAP is definitely adult oriented. Shoot, a lot of stuff we post here is, as well a G rated stuff. However, if you are on this particular page seeking the G rated stuff, move along buster.

The song itself, which we will dive into a little later, has caused quite a stir. Some younger folks I work with have been referencing her and the song. See, I’m an old white guy, and they know I likely have no frame of reference. Ha, google does exist!

So why write an article on WAP and Cardi B?

We don’t write a lot of articles here on Laughshop.com, but this article begged to be written. This site is humor oriented, as the more I read up on the person, Cardi B, and the song, the more I laughed. Not at her, nor it, specifically, but more at the uproar. More the “in-your-face” pandering and attention seeking of the song itself. Consequently, here we are adding to it.

First – Who is she?

Her real name is Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar. Growing up her nickname was Bacardi. That is a LOT easier, I’d go by Bacardi too. Cardi B is a deliberate misspelling of Bacardi. I have to say, great stage name! She could easily have been Belmar, which sounds too much like a horse track. There is a decent Wikipedia page on her here.
To cut to the chase, Cardi B has popped onto the scene and dominated it in a very short time. That means she has worked her tail off. Not only that, but a female rapper? Rare enough, but dominating the field? Rarer still.

I Looked It Up

Not having heard the WAP song, I could only guess what the acronym stood for. I thought it would be something deep and complicated. Nope. It sure isn’t complicated, nor, ahem, deep. Cough. Crude, to be sure. But not deep.

For those of you who have not discovered the meaning of WAP yet, I’ll break my own unwritten rule about deliberate crudeness here. It is not Wizards Are People. We All Partake. Work Alone Penelope.
It stands for Wet Ass Pussy. True story. When I found this out, all I could do was laugh.

There is a comedian from Europe, Finland, I think, who does a whole set on how English is confusing. The word ass, for example. You can be an ass (bad), you can be a bad ass (good) or even have a bad ass (bad). Further, you can have a big ass burger, which is apparently bigger than a big burger.

So, yeah, broken down, it could be wet ass, ass pussy, a prison favorite, or wet ass pussy, again, a, erm, used prison delight.

The Tune

Yes, this is a song, even if it is rap. It is lyrics set to music, so let’s look at the tune first.

Listening to this, not much to it, honestly. Slow, rhythmic, occasional slap sounds not unlike a mouse trap snapping. Discordant. Okay, not much of a tune, none-the-less it backs the focus, the lyrics, the words. These I found hysterical!

The lyrics – broken down

Here we’ll break down a small portion of the lyrics. Lyrics courtesy of Genius.com. Go there to see the rest of this. I only included a little bit.

Whores in this house
(repeated)
There’s some whores in this house (Hol’ up)

I said certified freak, seven days a week
Wet-ass pussy, make that pullout game weak, woo (Ah)

Okay, so it seems off the top this looks like she is talking about some other girls.

[Chorus: Cardi B]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fuckin’ with some wet-ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy

Well, maybe not. The word “me” rather than she or her is first person.

[Verse 1: Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion]
Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this pussy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card

Ahhahahahahaha! Like a credit card! Sure does tie sex and money together, don’t it?

Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it’s inside

Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This pussy is wet, come take a dive

Ew.

Tie me up like I’m surprised
Let’s roleplay, I’ll wear a disguise

“You be Groucho Marx and I’ll be Phyllis Diller…”

I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream
Out in public, make a scene
I don’t cook, I don’t clean
But let me tell you how I got this ring (Ayy, ayy)…

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