So what’s new with you? Oh, yes, this is Blonde Jokes Weekly 10, our tenth attempt at making Mondays not so sucky for you folks out there in office land. What’s new with us? Not much, we’re just working on getting a few more websites running. Normally I prep these days in advance, but not today, we’ve been to busy! Anyhow, on with the jokes.
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Blonde jokes with three moms.
There are three moms, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says “Oh my gosh y’all I went through my daughter’s purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed.”
They comfort her, and the redhead says “Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter’s purse. I cannot believe she has one”. So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says “That’s nothing. I found a condom in my daughter’s purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis.”
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Blonde joke on a lake
One day as a blonde was walking along the shore of a huge lake.
She spots another blonde on the opposite shore. She cupped her hands together and shouted “How do I get to the other side?”
The other blonde cupped her hands together and shouted “YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!”
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Dead blondes jokes
A tall blonde and a short blonde where on their way to heaven and the short blonde asks the tall blonde “how did you die?”
The tall blonde says “I had a heart attack. How about you?” The short blonde girl says “I froze to death. what caused your heart attack?”
The tall blonde said “It started when I came home from work and I saw a woman’s car in the drive way. I rushed into the house screaming at my husband, demanding to know where he was hiding her. He said ‘hiding who’, so I started looking around the house, I was so angry I dropped dead to the floor.”
Finally the short blonde says “Damn!! If you had just looked in the freezer we’d both have lived.”
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Blonde jokes quickies. Or is that blonde quickies?
How can you tell a blonde has been in your fridge?
There is lipstick on the cucumber.
Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
They are both 10¢ a screw!
What do blondes and cow pattys have in common?
They both get easier to pick-up with age.
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
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Blonde jokes on a elevator
A Blonde is having a great day. She is walking towards the elevator and notices it’s leaving. She starts to run, but a man holds it for here and she makes it.
When she’s inside she starts thinking ‘I’m in a really good mood, I’ll share it with that man’ then says “T-G-I-F!”
The man looks at her and says “S-H-I-T”.
The blonde is startled then says “T-G-I-F” again.
The man, again, says “S-H-I-T”.
The blonde says “No, T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness Its Friday!”
The man replies “No, S-H-I-T, Sorry Honey Its Thursday.”
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