Weekly Blonde Jokes Issue 3

Here’s weekly blonde jokes issue 3. We feel it’s better to start a Monday off with a smile rather than a scowl, so hopefully this does the trick. work less, laugh more.
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Wood Eye!
A groaner from Rudedog367
A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a
gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has
been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her.
Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air.

“Oh my god, I am sooo sorry, ” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.”

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her house, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night. The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed. “You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

“No, she replies….

Wait for it….

It’s coming………….

The suspense is killing you ……..

“You just happened to catch my eye.”

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~~~~~~ On An Island Weekly Blonde Jokes ~~~~~~
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back.
~~~~~~ Quickie Weekly Blonde Jokes ~~~~~~
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, “I slept with a Brazilian….”
The blonde replies, “Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?”

~~~~~~
What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde?
You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
~~~~~~
A blonde walked into the dentist office and sat down in the chair.
The dentist said “Open Wide”
“I can’t” The blonde said. “This chair has arms”
~~~~~~
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she is the only one that’s 18.
~~~~~~

And the last entry for Weekly Blonde Jokes Issue 3
Glug
True story from MuskyMarauder1

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde with a new to boat was having a problem.
No matter how hard she tried  she just couldn’t get her brand new 22-ft  Bayliner to perform. It wouldn’t get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch.

So, one of the marina attendants jumped in the water to check underneath.

He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

Sure enough, under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

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