Weekly Blonde Jokes
Welcome to our weekly blonde jokes!
Before I get started, I want to wish each of you a happy New Year, that this will be YOUR year, and a safe new year celebration.
Remember don’t drink and drive! And if you’re a mathematician… drink and derive…
Let’s start the weekly blonde jokes!
Load ’em up! From mdaliesio!
A certain young man finally won a date with the blonde female of somewhat questionable morals who lived in his apartment complex.
To prepare for his big date, the young man went up to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. There, he sunbathed in the nude to prevent tan lines.
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his tool of the trade.
But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started to hurt him. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured cool milk into a tall glass. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and immediately experienced relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondered what he was doing, and wandered into the kitchen to see him with his Johnson immersed in a glass of milk.
Upon seeing this, or course the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”
Quickie weekly blonde jokes:
Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
What’s the difference between a blonde girl and a blonde guy?
The girl has the higher sperm count.
How do you know a blonde likes you?
She screws you two nights in a row.
Weekly Blonde Jokes: in the Bayou
I Need Shews…
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”
The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it’s back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”