Most humans spend a significant portion of their lives trying to eat healthy while staring longingly at a box of glazed donuts. It starts with a simple promise made on a Sunday evening. You tell yourself that kale is your new best friend. You swear that sugar is a distant memory. However, the universe usually has a much different plan for your stomach. Actually, the universe seems to actively dislike your new vegetable-based lifestyle. It waits until you buy the expensive organic spinach before it strikes.
Suddenly, a coworker walks into the office with three dozen hot donuts. You try to look away, but the smell of fried dough is a powerful force. Therefore, your breakfast of lemon water and sadness begins to feel like a huge mistake. Many people believe that willpower is a muscle. Unfortunately, my willpower muscle is currently shaped like a slice of pepperoni pizza. This constant battle makes life very interesting for anyone with a taste for snacks.
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Why Tuesday Kills Your Diet
Tuesday is arguably the most dangerous day for anyone trying to eat healthy in the modern world. It is not a major holiday like Christmas. It does not have the festive energy of a Friday night. Yet, Tuesday is the sneaky assassin of all good intentions. First, there is the legendary concept of Taco Tuesday. Who can truly say no to a taco when it is specifically scheduled on the calendar? It feels like you are breaking a law if you eat a salad instead.
Besides the tacos, Tuesday is often the day when reality sets in. Monday was full of false hope and fresh celery. By Tuesday afternoon, the stress of the week begins to grow. You realize that there are still four days until the weekend. Consequently, a cheeseburger starts to look like a form of therapy. You tell yourself that one burger will not hurt. Then, you remember that Wednesday is right around the corner.
Trying to Eat Healthy During Christmas
The holiday season is basically a giant obstacle course made of gravy and cookies. You enter December with a plan to stay on track. However, every house you visit is filled with the scent of peppermint bark. Honestly, it is rude to turn down a homemade treat from a grandmother. You do not want to be the person who brings a bag of carrots to a gift exchange. That person is never invited back for the New Year’s Eve party.
Furthermore, the weather outside is usually quite chilly. Your body naturally wants to store fat for the winter like a very confused squirrel. Instead of a light broth, you find yourself craving a bowl of mashed potatoes the size of a human head. It is almost impossible to focus on your goals when there is eggnog in the fridge. Clearly, the calendar is working against your waistline during the winter months. You simply have to accept the festive chaos.
Summer Vibes and Burger Bites
Summer is supposed to be the season of light meals and fresh fruit. In reality, it is the season of backyard charcoal and heavy mayonnaise-based salads. You go to a barbecue with the intention of eating one grilled chicken breast. Next, someone hands you a cold drink and a plate of ribs. Suddenly, the chicken breast looks very lonely and boring. You decide that summer is too short to worry about every single calorie.
Moreover, ice cream trucks are a constant threat to your peace of mind. That cheerful music follows you through the neighborhood like a siren song. You try to tell yourself that a frozen fruit bar is just as good. Deep down, you know that is a lie. You want the one with the chocolate coating and the crunchies. Thus, the summer diet becomes a series of “cheat days” that last until September.
Trying to Eat Healthy on a Friday Night
Friday is the ultimate finish line for the working week. You have survived the meetings and the emails. Now, you feel like you deserve a massive reward. Many people celebrate by ordering the largest pizza available on the menu. Usually, this pizza comes with a side of garlic knots. You justify this by saying you will start over on Monday morning. This cycle is a tradition for millions of hungry people everywhere.
Actually, the weekend is a 48-hour period where rules do not exist. You might eat a salad for lunch on Saturday. However, that salad is usually followed by a trip to the local bakery. Consequently, the progress you made during the week disappears like a magic trick. It is a beautiful and delicious tragedy. You realize that being perfect is much less fun than being fed.
Embracing the Delicious Chaos
Ultimately, we have to find a way to laugh at our own cravings. Life is too short to spend every second feeling guilty about a slice of cake. If Tuesday brings a taco, perhaps you should just enjoy the taco. Balancing a healthy lifestyle with a love for pizza is a true art form. It requires a lot of practice and a very large napkin. You can always try again tomorrow morning.
Actually, tomorrow is Wednesday, which is often wings night at the local pub. Maybe you should just aim for a fresh start next month. Until then, you can enjoy the delicious memes and the funny reality of our food choices. Sharing a laugh about our struggles makes the salad taste a little bit better. Specifically, it makes the pizza taste like a well-earned victory. Keep smiling and keep snacking whenever the calendar ruins your plans.
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