Definitely Weird

Definitely Weird

This is a definitely weird translation fail.

Definitely Weird
Definitely Weird

If I saw this and I was really, really hungry and there were no other food places in the world, I just might go hungry. Might. I’m trying with every brain cell (all three of them) to figure out how in the world this translation fail can even exist. There’s really Chinese words for food dishes that are similar to Meat Fried Cat Ear? Well, ok. But Fried Pulls Out the Rotten child? That’s like insane gibberish in any language, I would think anyway. Interestingly both dishes cost the same, 15 whatevers. Probably something like “15 Granny Eyes in the Seahorse Snot.”

Get Crabs

Yep, Dirty Dicks Has Crabs

Get Crabs

Get CrabsWait, so tell me again, how did you get crabs?

I got my crabs from Dirty Dick’s Crab House. As if the name Dirty Dicks isn’t, by itself, hysterical, they took it a step further with the whole I Got My Crabs thing. All in all the sign is harmless, truthful for their customers, and right on point. However the dirty minded among us will always read this sign differently, and that’s on us. I am one of those unfortunate folks who don’t fart pixie dust, and read into this the added meaning the restaurant meant to make pun of. Yes, I said it. No I’m not sorry.

Steaming Pot

And they deliver too!

Steaming Pot
Steaming Pot

It’s a Steaming Pot of Pu Pu, and look, free delivery! Nothing better than a steaming hot pot of Pu Pu on a cold day, delivered right to your front door. You know, if they didn’t have delivery that might have been a deal breaker. Myself, I’m not so sure I’d eat there, but to each their own. I’ve said it before, but if a place is named this, and open for any amount of time, how many failure are there? Customers, “Mr. Pu, your sign really says crap crap.” Sign or awning maker in this case. Business license folks, suppliers, the list goes on, and nobody says shit.

You so What?

You so Honi for my Cash…

Ah, I see, you clever bastards, when I say you so what? You answer…

You so What?
You so What?

Miso Honi, Miso Honi, Miso Honi Me Love You Long Time. Yeah, I’m thinking it’s clear that this is a deliberately funny sign, and memorable too. It looks like maybe it’s in a mall food court, but I could be wrong about that. I’d eat there just to say I have, and to hear the workers say the business name. With a name like that the food taste is a 50/50 crap shoot. Could be awesome, could be nasty. The name though, that is clever.

Chubby Johnson Restaurant

Chubby Johnson Restaurant

Chubby Johnson Restaurant
Chubby Johnson Restaurant

Howard’s long lost half brother, Chubby, grew up in China, and when he too went into the restaurant business he sought to keep from being confused with his brother from another mother, thus we have┬áChubby Johnson Restaurant becoming something else all together.

Okay, I just made that up. I just wanted a story that would keep me from having to type vulgarities. I’m so ashamed.
So, wtf is with this place? Like, oh sure, they really don’t know what the sign translates to? Yeah, don’t let yourself get stuck in the walk in with the owner! Do they have specials, like Fat Kok in a Blanket? I need to be punished.