AKA “sit to pee Santa”. He probably drives a red Prius too…
Why Santa Never Shaves
What Santa Does Somebody asked me what Santa does the rest of the year. I jokingly said he smokes crack, beats the wife, then rapes the elves, and that’s just the first day. Yeah, I know, coal for me this year. Here is the real answer by the way, and I don’t blame him a … Read more
Texting and Driving Rudolph crashes while texting and driving. Technically it would be Santa who was texting, as he’s the only one with thumbs, and he was driving. All fun in the cartoon, but texting and driving is a serious problem today. When the word “driving” is used, the only “and” that ought to be … Read more
Scooter Claus Santa Scoots, or Scooter Claus. My how things have changed… Scooter Claus got his name as a child. Growing up at the North Pole, Scooter was a lonely boy with no one but the random and seldom visiting elf to play with. One of his favorite things to do was to imitate … Read more
Hat Carrot Coal That’s all that is left of Frosty the Snowman at Santa’s annual Christmas bash, hat carrot coal. Good times for all but Frosty. Seemed like such a good idea at the time, a hot tub party, but Frosty ought to have known better. He’d probably had way too much egg nog, although immediately … Read more
I really don’t think I need to tell you why this is a Christmas fail, unless, of course, your culture celebrates giant burning inflatable Santa’s!
This fail, which is actually a defining Christmas fail, but sad too. Look at Frosty at the bottom, doesn’t he remind you of the little girl in the memes that show a house burning in the background? He’s all smiling big. Puzzling, I have no idea why anyone would want to construct a Santa this big to begin with. The giant burning Santa obviously has an inner framework structure, it isn’t just a balloon. This was apparently in Santa Catarina, Brazil a few years ago. Undoubtedly this occurring would have traumatized any children seeing it. Santa and Burning Man combined into one event?
You know, I never thought of Santa as a hot-head.
Funny Christmas Cartoon image of a little girl yelling at Santa the fat judgmental bastard Santa to stop judging her. Lump of coal for you, young lady, in perpetuity. She may have been better of waiting to come until after he placed the goodies under the tree. You know, this cartoon speaks a lot about kids, and people in general today, the whole “don’t judge me” nonsense. There’s a reason we’re endowed with the ability to reason, to determine good from bad, and must use sound judgement. Dropping the kids off and the caretaker is drunk? Don’t judge? Oh hell no.
Divinyls Santa sings. “I don’t want, anybody else. When I think about you, I touch my elf, oh oh oh”… Ah lyrics changing Santa, you funnyman you. My guess is this has been going on, sporadically, for decades judging by the elf who is clearly irritated and over the humor of it. This of course make me wonder how many other versions he has made of. When I think about pooh? Anyhow, funny cartoon. Hey, is it just me or does that drum look cheesy and cheap, like a 99 cent store item?
There are few things that are more wrong for Christmas than the image of Disturbing Santa. How many ways is this wrong? Lets start by looking at this scene through the eyes of little Billy. A million Santas in one place, suspicious, wavering belief in Santa begins. Budweiser can in hand, though it is the right color for Christmas, Billy thinks, “Why that’s just what daddy holds before he fights with mommy!” Open frock coat, ah Santa, that ought never happen, and you, OMG! Loin cloth Santa? And a freaky loin cloth at that? AND you obviously did a little manscaping downstairs too? What’s with the backpack? Where ya going Santa? And lastly, the look on Santas face. It looks like drinking, half naked, freshly shaved, loin cloth wearing, back packing Santa is mad dogging someone else, meaning a possible disturbing Santa fight!