Awkward Stoic Christmas

Awkward Stoic (workplace?) Christmas

Awkward Stoic Christmas
Awkward Stoic Christmas

Awkward stoic Christmas picture, but maybe there’s more to the story? Grim reaper just walked past before the picture and muttered, “One of you leaves tonight.” Left to right, “Cool, me, I can’t take it any longer I so look like Gomez Addams I just want to go to a better place. ” Next, “Cool, it’s the old guy, I just know it, I get everything!” Next, “Grimmy was looking hot tonight. I’m gonna do him.” Last, Please take me now. This sweater, the hat, I’m so done.” Or maybe not, maybe they work together, hate each other and just got done with an all out brew-ha-ha. Better still, I think I know. Girl 2nd from left, she spiked the coffee, and is living in anticipation for the rest of them to taste and figure it out.

Awkward Christmas Family Pose

Awkward Family Christmas

Awkward Christmas Family Pose
Awkward Christmas Family Pose

I would definitely call this an awkward Christmas family pose. This is another of those “We’re sending you a picture of the fam with the Christmas Card, Hello!” type pictures. Dad, shock, mom, “eeeeeee!”, left kids, gleeful surprise, middle bottom kid, crapping his jammies, right kid, Slingblade, the early years. Yep, I’d be delighted to do a picture like this. Not. Nice tree though. They’ll fondly remember this pic forever, and they rightly should. Year go past so fast, Christmases fly by. Remember how long they took to get here as kids? Now, boom, how’d that happen?

Awkward Christmas Presents

Awkward Christmas Presents

Awkward Christmas Presents
Awkward Christmas Presents

Awkward Christmas Presents to be sure. At least they’re alive and cheerful, not like the Hannibal Lechter household where, well, the items in the boxes are decidedly less lively. I get that this is a Christmas picture that’s probably used to send with a card to distant family members and maybe friends, but call me crass, but doesn’t also sort of say “We’re arrogant and self important, but most importantly we’re cheap asses, so hey, we’re your gift!” Naw, that can’t be it. And besides, they probably sent a couple hundred dollar bills with the card and picture, right?

Seeking Santa

Seeking Santa

Seeking Santa
Seeking Santa

Seeking Santa? Santa’s dead, Billy. Deal with it. What a cold blooded thing to say, but even more cold blooded to do to the poor kid. Now I’m 90% certain this picture is a fake. I mean, I can think of no reason why someone would create a Santa Claus headstone, for starters. And make one for a fictional character too. Oh, I meant to real, yes Billy, Santa’s real. Ok, moving on, the dates, why again? I’m thinking little Billy is maybe crying over grandma, and somebody photoshopped the headstone to say Santa Claus. It’s funny though, but I still feel bad for Billy, any time a child cries like that is not funny, except when it’s over Santa.

Awkward Redneck Family Christmas Photo

These rednecks at Christmas – Mama’s Family?

Awkward Redneck Family Christmas Photo
Awkward Redneck Family Christmas Photo

Right, so if this awkward redneck family Christmas photo doesn’t give you the willies, then something is wrong with you, you’re clearly not human. There is almost nothing right about this picture, it’s the stuff nightmares filled with boogie men are made out of. Creepy dude with the elf doll, princess pajamas wearing eyebrows…person? Shiny teeth guy, these are all like something out of the TV show Momma’s Family from Hell. Now bald guy looks normal, but I’m sure that’s only because the view is blocked of his eight tentacle legs, and bearded guy, he looks okay… for an eleven foot tall man. What, did they canvass  all of Appalachia for these folks? Or is it all just a put on, maybe a cast auditioning for a TV show? Or maybe Angus Scrimm worked his magic on these folks.

Redneck Christmas Greetings

Redneck Christmas Greetings

Redneck Christmas Greetings
Redneck Christmas Greetings

Redneck Christmas Greetings is the title, but there is so much wrong in this photo that I cannot find much of anything right in it to talk about. All yin, no yang. So, snow. In the south. It happens, I get it, but it’s not the norm so I’d imagine the vast majority of rednecks would stay indoors freezing their butts off. In swimsuits. See point above. Wearing sunglasses. At a pond, in the snow. The man is tubing in the cold pont, the lady lounging on the side as if it’s summer, and the boy is standing at the side, clearly cold, but the man and the lady look like there’s nothing unusual at all. up. Ah, one positive, they’re all wearing fur caps, Canadian style fur caps. Ah ha! That’s it! Canadian rednecks! Those are the only rednecks crazy enough to do something like this.

 

Easier to Spell

Easier to Spell

Easier to Spell
Easier to Spell

Christmas is easier to spell than the many spelling variants of Hannukah. I’m just writing that one because that’s what is on the picture and have no desire to look up and write all the other ones. So there. Christmas can be easier still to spell as xmas, or x-mas although a lot of people get offended by that spelling. Weird the Christmas and Hannukah fall at the same time of year, yeah? The winter solstice? Christmas was moved there to compete with pagan solstice celebrations and to compete with the gift giving of Hannukah. Seems to me if something is Holy, the date, rime of year would have some serious meaning, and not be movable.

Picard Christmas

Picard Christmas

Picard Christmas
Picard Christmas

Jean Luc Picard Christmas meme, ah Jean Luc, you tell it like it is, even in the 24th century. Interestingly there was a segment of one of the Star Trek movies where Picard is celebrating Christmas in an old fashioned way via a time/space anomaly, (the ribbon?), so yeah, they apparently do still celebrate it in the future. And per this meme, where ARE all the people who get offended when someone says Merry Christmas? I think the media blows it way out of proportion. I have myself watched pagans bemoan the fact that their Christmas’s will have few if any gifts, which always strikes me as a little odd. At any rate, this isn’t a religion site, but a humor site, and this meme is funny.

Another Next Generation oddity: Jean Luc Picard is a Frenchman, but speaks with a British accent. Why? This never was explained.

First World Santa

First World Santa

Oh, the problems and blessings of living in the first world. Even Santa can cause a guilt trip.

First World Santa

This Santa cartoon meme is sarcasm at it’s best. Santa Claus seems to only give free toys to first world countries, a douche bag move if ever, so much so he even has the standard issue douche hat on in this picture. However, let’s stop and think: Christmas and Santa Claus is a Christian notion, so is it that the first world countries tend to be mostly Christian, or is he just being an a-hole. I’m pretty sure it’s the former, not the latter, but I suppose it could go either way. I mean he enslaves elves, so, yeah.

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