Redneck Dogs

Redneck Dogs

Redneck Dogs
Redneck Dogs

Is this that famous trio, Curly, Larry and Moe, the redneck dogs? I doubt it, more like Cletus, Zeke and Billy Bob, but whatever their names these guys are funny looking. I’m 99% sure the teeth were photoshopped into their gobs, as I have never seen dogs with teeth like these. A classic funny no matter though. “Them there dogs don’t hunt.” Well, if I were a dog with chompers like that I wouldn’t even go outside, so give these fellers their due. And you know what else, I’ll bet they hunt just fine, taking their pent up appearance angst out on everything that moves, then retiring in the evening for some lovin and moonshine.

Redneck Dog

Redneck dog

What makes a good redneck dog? Not an easy answer, but we’ll break it down some.

Redneck Dog
Redneck Dog

First one has to understand that “Rednecks” really aren’t any particular ethnicity. Many will argue that point, saying rednecks are only white, live in the south, thump bibles, and are conservative. None of that is completely true, partially, but not completely. I have met various ethnicities of whom a sample could well be labeled rednecks.

There’s the caballero rednecks, some Asiatic folks I have met living a redneck lifestyle, not a lot, granted, and of course the prototypical redneck mentioned above. Hell, I even found a picture of a Swedish Redneck, complete with a wood burning stove in his Volvo!
What are the commonalities? One is they overwhelmingly tend to have at least one dog, a redneck dog, and usually more than one. Of course many also live in rural to semi rural areas, many farm the land.  Duct tape is their friend. In fact improvising is huge among them, and that, many times, involves duct tape.

Sure this fellow is, um, unusual looking, and that’s kind of the point, he’s a redneck dog. However most rednecks just have average, ordinary dogs, mutts, mixes, ranging from chihuahuas to blood hounds (that dog can hunt!) to pitbulls. However, most dogs belonging to rednecks tend to be the larger variety, for many reasons. Protection (why pay $40 a month for an alarm when I can pay $20 a month for dog food?). Companionship (come here baybe, come to papa. das right, snuggle right on up cheer).  Hunting (Go git er spot!). And breeding… Naw, that’s too easy a joke raght chair…
That’s not to say that any particular breed of dog HAS to be a redneck dog, nor can any particular dog be ruled out as a redneck dog, it is pretty free form.
I live in an area with a lot of rednecks and a lot of dogs, and you can always tell a redneck lives at any particular place a few different ways. One is the car on blocks in the tall grass, another is by his or her multiple loose running dogs in the (usually) fenced yard. But generally these dogs are well behaved, but will attack should a stranger come on the property up to no good.

You see, dogs are mans (and womans) best friend, and have been for thousands of years, so when you get right down to it, rednecks have a lot of best friends in their redneck dogs.

 

Redneck Rabbits

Redneck Rabbits

Redneck Rabbits
Redneck Rabbits

Redneck rabbits say “Eff the Easter Bunny, he ain’t nothin’!” Like human rednecks they tend to have a gazillion offspring, but at least you won’t catch the rabbit version with the whole gaggle dressed funny at Walmart. Yeah, you’ll catch them drinking and smoking in public but hey, don’t judge! Like most rednecks it’s not like they have to be at work in the morning, they’ll be busy foraging for food and drink, like Cheetos and PBR, so don’t you worry none ’bout them, they’ll be just fine. On another note has anyone seen this rabbit’s Caterpillar cap?