Marquee Irony

Oh the Irony

Now if this funny sign isn’t a marquee irony.

Marquee Irony
Marquee Irony

I love funny signs, and I suppose this could be more ironic, but this marquee irony hit it pretty much dead on the head. Frozen is playing, and here the theater is, not a soul in sight, frozen over. Myself, I couldn’t even think about going in there for this film on a day like this. Too psychologically difficult, lol.
So let me get this straight, the city is frozen in the snow, and they’re thinking in this weather people are going to go into a theater showing a movie about what amounts to a frozen wasteland. I know they have little choice of films to show, but still this is really optimistic.

Open Box

Open the Pizza Box? Uh, yeah…

THAT’s what I’ve been doing wrong all this time!

Open Box
Open Box

Open box first, huh? There’s so much going wrong here. First off, at least where I live the pizza box often tastes better than the pizza itself. More to the point, you have to OPEN the pizza box pictured first to see the print telling you to open the box before eating the pizza because the print is IN the box!!! Seriously, have we really gotten this dumb? Are we really this de-evolved that things like this are necessary? Honestly, in this area we really have gotten this dumb.

Good Reason to Burn Books

This is a really good reason to burn books

Good Reason to Burn Books
Good Reason to Burn Books

Funny signs make me laugh, and this sign is witty, funny, humorous. This is true, but you could always check out a bunch and burn books after you read them. Become informed and learned, and keep warm at the same time. It’s straight to the point, tells the truth, is hopelessly optimistic, absurd as it is, but it left something out of the list of possibilities: You could burn the book and be warm. Not if it was a kindle of course, that would be stupid. I wonder if this actually got them any business? I’ll bet it did, people love witty signs.

Explains a LOT

Explains a lot about Desserts

I do believe this explains a lot! Stressed is desserts in reverse!

Explains a LOT
Explains a LOT

Yep, so I’m going to have dessert after all, it has a BUILT IN excuse! This explains a lot. One of few words that is magic backwards. Beer = reeb. Nope. Booze = ezoob. Medication = noitacidem. Nuh uh. Yeah, desserts may be the ONLY one! So when someone gives you hell about that HUGE bowl of ice cream, or that extra slice of pie, just scream that you are stressed! And if you’re a pastry chef, you’re actually doing a vital service and deserve a big fat raise!

Pie, cake, ice cream, donuts, cheesecake, muffins, oh my God yes.
See how lucky you are to have me around to explain this to you? I’m a giver 🙂

Grab Me Now

Grab Me Now

Grab Me Now while you can! The things that make you say “Oh thank heaven, for seven eleven.”

Grab Me Now
Grab Me Now

Erm, oh, never mind. Funny how little tiny mis-spellings can SO change meanings, I mean, an innocuous sales sign becomes, well, pornographic almost. Many times this is done on purpose, but no, not in this instance. I’m sure somebody lost their job. After a good laugh, or course. Did you know 7-11 got its name from their original hours? 7Am to 11AM, back when regular grocery stores were open far shorter hours, you could count on 7-11, but you’d pay a far higher price.

Weekly Blonde Jokes

Weekly Blonde Jokes Welcome to our weekly blonde jokes! Before I get started, I want to wish each of you a happy New Year, that this will be YOUR year, and a safe new year celebration. Remember don’t drink and drive! And if you’re a mathematician… drink and derive… Let’s start the weekly blonde jokes! … Read more

Redneck Youth

Rednecks and School

Redneck youth picture. Bet you didn’t know we had Ron White’s baby pictures. Kidding!

Redneck Youth
Redneck Youth

This is just your generic, red blooded Gen-You-Wine redneck youth, as seen in his natural habitat. Image shows a boy on a porch in underpants holding a beer, cigar in mouth, much like you might expect to see a grown man up reposing. Reposing is sitting, resting, for those linguistically challenged. I’m curious where he got the vintage Miller Lite can. Gotta hand it to him though, patriotic as all get out, only wanting the red, white and blue crayons. Do they even make white crayons?
At any rate, I’ll bet he grows up for be one fine ‘merican.

Rudolph’s Revenge

Rudolph’s Revenge

He finally snapped and they all felt the heat of Rudolphs revenge. He took out the others one at a time. Can you blame him?

Rudolphs Revenge
Rudolphs Revenge

There is only so long anyone, even a reindeer, can tolerate being laughed at and called names. I only wonder if he took them out in their sleep, because he seems like a sneaky bastard, or if he has a human hunter costume he wears when prowling for his prey. I suppose the answer is below.
“After everything was done, with all those in attendance, Rudolph got his gun, and had himself some vengeance.”

Happy Everything Now Leave Me Alone

Happy Everything

Happy everything! Wouldn’t it be nice to just get them all out of the way at once? Yet, it is nice that holidays are sprinkled though out the year, giving us time to spend with loved ones.

Happy Everything Now Leave Me Alone
Happy Everything Now Leave Me Alone

Christmas, Hanukkah, 4th of July, Valentines day, Presidents Day, so many holidays and faux holidays created by merchants to provide an excuse to spend money, that which we have, and don’t have. Too bad they can’t all be gotten out of the way in one felled swoop, however that means no time off work or school too.

Who Lit the fuse

Who lit the fuse?

Ok, who lit the fuse on your tampon? Men, I highly suggest you never use this phrase, especially if the woman in question knows where you sleep.

Who Lit the fuse
Who Lit the fuse

Yes, it’s a crude burn, but you know, sometimes you just have to trot this out when dealing with an irrationally angry female. To be fair we are still looking for a male equivalent, for those of you who will be hell bent for leather angry. If you have one, send it it and we’ll feature it!