I Wear A Size 7 Day Cruise

If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7 day cruise in the Caribbean. Don’t we all young lady, don’t we all. And no pirate to contend with these days!

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All I Want for Christmas is a… Size “7-Day Caribbean Cruise”?

As the snowflakes start to fall and the jingles tingle, the age-old question resurfaces: “What do you want for Christmas?” Well, for those struggling to come up with a holiday wish list that doesn’t sound like a grocery shopping request, there’s a new trendsetter in town. One intrepid soul has put out a memo, loud and clear: this year, they’re skipping the socks and scarves and going straight for the big fish—or should we say, big ship.

Deck the Halls with Boughs of… Seaweed?

Imagine the look on Santa’s face as he checks his list (twice) and sees a request not for gadgets or gizmos, but for a tropical voyage. The “Size 7-Day Caribbean Cruise” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it sure does float the boat of holiday desires.

• From Stockings to Starboard: Forget hanging your stockings by the fireplace. This year, it’s all about slinging your hammock on the starboard side as you soak up the sun and indulge in the all-you-can-eat buffet. Who needs candy canes when you have unlimited shrimp cocktails?
• Sleighs? More Like Waves: Out with the sleighs, and in with the waves. This Christmas, swap the sleigh bells for steel drums and trade your reindeer run for a deck-chair sun. Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my cruise ship tonight?

“Medium” Won’t Cut It, We’re Going “Medium-Rare Adventure”

In a bold move that’ll have the elves scratching their heads, this wishlist writer is thinking outside the (gift) box. Why settle for medium when you can go for the medium-rare adventure of the seas?

• The Fit of Festivity: When it comes to the perfect Christmas fit, it’s not about the sweater size; it’s about fitting an entire week of escapism under the tree. Sure, it’s a tight squeeze, but so is getting the whole family into grandma’s living room for the holiday photo.
• The Jingle of the Jungle: Who needs a silent night when you can have a night filled with the sounds of tropical fauna and the gentle lapping of the ocean? This holiday season, let’s jingle all the way to the jungle.

Christmas Miracles: Sleigh Bells to Snorkels

It’s a Christmas miracle for the modern age. As the holiday season approaches, let’s put away our ugly sweaters and look to the horizon where the Caribbean sun sets and the cruise ships beckon.

• The Gift that Keeps on Giving: This isn’t just a vacation; it’s an experience, the gift that keeps on giving long after the last ornament is packed away. It’s the stories, the memories, and yes, the tan lines that will survive well into the new year.
• Dear Santa, I Can Explain…: To the big man in the red suit, you might need to trade in your sleigh for something more buoyant this year. And Rudolph, that red nose might come in handy as a nautical beacon.

So, as the Christmas lights twinkle, let it be known across all the shopping malls and online stores: some of us have our sights set on a holiday that’s less about material and more about maritime. And remember, when someone tells you they’re a size “7-Day Caribbean Cruise,” don’t question it—just know they’ve got Christmas spirit in spades (or anchors).

@emily_jane_johnston

Part one: video diary of outfits for a 7 day cruise in the Caribbean … daytime edition. Evening attire tomorrow for part two. For note, I’m a size 18 uk, size 16 us, am 6’2 and aged 42. #midsizefashion #outfitideas #whatiwore #whattopack #over40 #whatsinmysuitcase

♬ Little Bitty Pretty One – Thurston Harris

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