Redneck Party Limo

Redneck Party Limo

Redneck Party Limo image in front of a 7-11
Redneck Party Limo

Now that is a redneck party limo! Whee doggies, would you look at that, Jethro! It’s parked out in front of the 7-11, so obviously they’re stocking up on tater chips, Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR to rednecks), beer nuts, pork rinds and God knows whatever else.
This looks to have began life as a uHaul truck, they kept the front hood and it’s paint, adding a truck bed and shell, and a whole slew of doors from various and assorted Chevy suburbans. Definitely a truck with an identity crisis.
The redneck limo appears to be either in the beginning stages of its new life, or end. My guess it’s just starting out, a fledgling. To be fair, this may not be redneck party limo at all, but may be used in moving workers on the farm from one field to another, but on the weekends, haha, it’s all tunes and disco lights.

Redneck Underwear

Redneck Underwear

Is it a sports Bra? Tank top? It started life as redneck underwear for sure, but then something weird happened to this underwear! What the hell was he or she thinking?

Redneck Underwear
Redneck Underwear

Ok, I’m really not sure what happened here, whether some guy was given a super atomic wedgie from hell and then he liked the look and kept it as a redneck fashion statement, or if he went to a place that required shirts, didn’t have a shirt, saw other people in tank tops and had a (not so) brilliant inspiration to tear up his (or worse, someone else’s) underwear and wear it as a tank top. I Seriously have no idea. It could be he lost a bet. Another possibility is it is a woman wearing her old mans undies as a makeshift shirt. At any rate, most redneck improvisation are interesting, even fascinating. This one is plain weird.

Redneck Ick

Redneck Ick

Redneck Ick picture of a redneck with a nascar driver's number shaved into his back hair.
Redneck Ick

This is a funny redneck photo, and an icky picture too. Redneck Ick is picture of a redneck with a nascar driver’s number shaved into his back hair. Now, yes, some men are blessed (cursed) with having out of control body hair, and curiously it seems like the same fellers tend to have bald or baling heads. Could it be the hair migrates downwards while they sleep, a little at a time? Or maybe the hair prefers a particular elevation when the man is growing and decides on it’s own, hell with it, I’m going back, leaving a bare pate? But I digress…
This man is nearly neanderthal, body hair wise, so I really don’t get going shirtless. Why not manscape if going shirtless is necessary. Yet to shave a nascar driver’s number onto ones hairy back? So there’s a nascar event, shirtless man, number shaved onto his shirtless back, yep, redneck ick.

Redneck Calamari

Redneck Calamari

Redneck Calamari
Redneck Calamari

Is this redneck calamari? A hot dog by any other name is still a hot dog, lol. Ok, go ahead, make it squid looking, sort of, still a hot dog. And the green beans, you can have them, but I’ll take the kraft macaroni and cheese on that there plate! As inventive and clever as this is, I can only think it’s the work of a redneck, probably a dad. Nothing on here is too difficult to prepare, and the hot gods are pure genius. Some ketchup (or maybe shrimp cocktail sauce?) and some mustard on the plate and boom, high falutin eats.

Redneck grill 2

Redneck Grill 2

Redneck grill 2
Redneck grill 2

Redneck grill 2, the second image we have of a makeshift redneck grill. This one is a grate held over an aluminum pan filled with briquettes by 4 Miller Lite cans. I hope the beer cans are empty, as it could get awkward when it comes time to slake one’s thirst. This is inventive, can me put together anywhere, and who but a redneck would or could come up with it, I ask you? It may not be the ideal solution, especially for tailgating, someone would eventually step in it or knock it over, and this would be a hazard in the back of ones pickup truck bed, but out in the woods? Cooking a couple fresh caught trout? No problemo.

Redneck Security System

Redneck Security System

Redneck Security System
Redneck Security System

I can’t imagine a more effective redneck security system than this. Of course the dogs wouldn’t always stay there, so that entrance wouldn’t always secure, and besides, there have to be other ways in, right? So maybe the dogs rotate around to other parts, or maybe there’s even more redneck dogs?
I have actually run across this situation a few times, and it is a major deterrent to approaching the front door, let alone the property itself! At least these hounds are visible. I have had to walk onto properties in the course of an old job I had only to find one or more large dogs running free as a complete surprise to both me and them. I was lucky to not have been bitten, or worse, mauled. They key was not panicking, and not running, so remember that y’all!

Redneck dream home

Redneck dream home

Redneck dream home image, a converted holding tank.
Redneck Dream Home

I can see why one might be skeptical about this being a redneck dream home, after all, they are partial to mobile homes, right? Not so fast. This here domicile has a deck and an awning, like a mobile home. Not only that but it is sided in metal, like a mobile home, but there the similarities end. This is a circular former holding tank, like one used for oil or water, so I’m hoping they cleaned it out really good. Ir being circular means there will be big challenges within furnishing the structure, be it with sofas or kitchen counters and cabinets which are traditionally rectangular, but what redneck doesn’t love a challenge in creative thinking? Lastly this redneck dream home can probably be turned onto it’s side and rolled to a new location if need be. Try that with a mobile home!

Redneck Weekend

Redneck Weekend

Redneck Weekend
Redneck Weekend

It’s a redneck weekend, relax, drink a beer, talk on the cordless phone, take a crap on your back porch, whatever. This may be the ultimate epic redneck weekend picture of all time. My guess is that the picture was staged, but you know, if you have a toilet on your back porch then it is entirely possible that you’d get caught cleaving a loaf on it whilst chilling out. sort of brings a new meaning to the great outdoors I guess.
The funny thing is the folks who will see this picture and think “Yeah, so? I don’t see anything unusual.” that is when you know for sure you are dealing with a true full blooded redneck!

Redneck Limo

Redneck Limo

Redneck Limo
Redneck Limo

You know something, I’m not a redneck, close but not quite, and I’d ride in this redneck limo no question. What’s not to love? It can go anywhere, over anything, and one of a limo’s first jobs is to get you where you want to go, and be as noticeable about it as possible. Deny it if you want, but if one didn’t want to be noticed while being driven somewhere, a taxi or a town car works just fine. Oh sure, comfort figures in too, and the redneck limo probably has too stiff a ride to sip scotch in the back seat, but that’s why God invented sippy cups. Speaking of comfort, getting in and out could be a problem, especially in your tuxedo or prom dress. Suck it up buttercup, style rarely has anything to do with comfort. If it sis tuxedos would look and feel like sweats, or overalls, and top hats would yield to CAT caps.

Friends Set In Tennessee

Friends set in Tennessee

Friends Set In Tennessee
Friends Set In Tennessee

Friends was set in New York City, at the characters apartments as well as at the coffee shop Central Perk (what a damned clever name!). Friends was iconic in so many ways. Story lines, the characters and situations made the show so very memorable.
However, what if the show had been set elsewhere? Say in the south, in a place like Tennessee? How much different would Friends have been with rednecks as the cast? How different would the story lines, the cast professions, the humor have been? Tennessee Friends, yes the idea is growing on me…
Sure, Monica Geller would still be a chef, erm, or caterer, or cook, whatever, at some diner, serving up her famous Kraft Mac and Cheese.
Phoebe would still be odd, but probably more in an Ellie May Clampett / Annie Oakley sort of way, “rastlin bears” and getting into blindfolded shooting contests. “Now y’all watch this. Hold my beer, k?”
Joey, well, he’d work as a postman, creeping on peoples houses with his trademark “How y’all doing,” and he’d moonlight as an aspiring Nashville star.
Ross, would be the gay auto mechanic, lovelorn, pining for Chandler.
Rachel, she’d work the hilariously filthy local dive bar come titty bar. It’s not really a titty bar, but. well, once in a while the girls just gotta let loose. Love that part.
That leaves Chandler, the Sheriff’s deputy. “Spit-ding. Ah hell, got it on my shirt again!” His love interest would of course be Janice, the way-too-much-make-up-worn-out-around-the-block-25,000-times bar fly. Her tag line would be “Oh Dear Lord, Chandler, Chandler Bing…”
And Central Perk? Fogettabouit, that would be something like The Well, or maybe The Wishing Well. And naturally at least once an episode one of the characters would wish to God they’d have a change of fortune, that would in some way turn out to be ironic. It’s be like Andy Griffith Show meets Mama’s Family.
You know something, I’d watch that show. Hey, producers, have your people call my people, we’ll do lunch.
“I’ll be there for y’all…”
Oh, and you Tennessee folks getting all riled up, I love the south. My family springs from the south. Just not from Tennessee…