Seeking Santa? Santa’s dead, Billy. Deal with it. What a cold blooded thing to say, but even more cold blooded to do to the poor kid. Now I’m 90% certain this picture is a fake. I mean, I can think of no reason why someone would create a Santa Claus headstone, for starters. And make one for a fictional character too. Oh, I meant to real, yes Billy, Santa’s real. Ok, moving on, the dates, why again? I’m thinking little Billy is maybe crying over grandma, and somebody photoshopped the headstone to say Santa Claus. It’s funny though, but I still feel bad for Billy, any time a child cries like that is not funny, except when it’s over Santa.
This is a funny drinking PSA sign giving a public service announcement that calculus and alcohol do not mix, so don’t drink and derive. This saying has actually been around for a lot of years, a company of mine making Don’t Drink and Derive products for a school a dozen years ago, so it is nothing new. Yet it meets the criteria of a good sign, clever and memorable. I just with they worded it to include not drinking and driving as well. No way to say that enough these days! Even after decade of pounding that message home, people still do it.
So stop your bitching. Own Monday, seize this day, and make it yours. You know you can, you just have to do it. Look, if she could survive all her issues in a life that was spiraling towards craziness and destruction, you can get through Monday, cupcake. Only difference is you don’t have the media following you around documenting every mis-step. Monday will soon be done, and Friday will be here in no time. What would be funny is if she was reading this and all, “Hey, eff you, writer man! Yes I made it, ands none of this is helping me, so eff you!”
How often have you said Thank God its Friday? And meant it? And thought of Joe Friday?
Ha, never, right? You will now. This is the Friday Meme. Celebrate the end of the normal work week! Weekends are for fun, chores, life and living. And family. Friday is diametrically opposed to Monday. Friday equals elation. Now, be elated! Feel free to use this on your status updates to show your happiness that another week of toil is out of the way. Yay! So, live it to the fullest, seize the day. To be honest I seldom do, but now and again.
Now hang on, you have the whole weekend to follow us on Facebook and Friendslr and Twitter for new stuff nearly every day, but do it NOW! Or, watch us right here on Laughshop.com, of course. Shoot, we’re so old we even have a MySpace page!
Are you asking for it? Wanting to get your butt kicked? Well, here’s how to start right up, right here with this handy guide to ensure it happens.
Every see someones face for the first time and it instantly pisses you off? How about someones clothing? Now take the face and clothing together. Arrrrg! Some styles of dress do instantly piss me off. Docksider shoes, hate them! Pastel clothing on men, any sweater tied around the neck and hanging on the back like a superhero gape. Gah! Preppy dress in other words. It just screams “I’m asking for it, so please kick my ass!” Men who dress like women are effing freaks. Oh, yeah, another Asking For It style of dress, dressing like your lady in matching clothes. See, here’s the problem, if she dressed like a man she would probably loose some of her femininity, but when he dresses to match her he looses ALL his masculinity. She in a pink shirt with flower prints is not the same as he in a pink shirt with flower prints.
Officer: “What’s your name son.”
Officer: “What is that, short for Harold?”
Man: “No sir, Halitosis is my full first name.”
Officer: “Whew, I can tell why…”
Do you have a life long issue with smelly morning breath? Here is one possible cause of your halitosis. If your dogs sleep in the bed with you there could be some authorized butt diving going on. “Damn, my mouth tastes like ass! I hate morning breath!” Weeeeeell, here’s your sign. Second, how exactly do you have a basis for that comparison. Is ass tasting right something you do in your spare time? Maybe only on weekends? Do tell…
Good news, the rabbit lived! Waking up in a pool of blood is normally a bad thing, vampires excepted. This is a cartoon of a lady waking up in bed to a grisly scene with her bedding, floor, walls spattered in blood, not normally funny in any way. However, as discovered in the lower pane it is because she has received her monthly visitor, meaning that she is not pregnant. That is what makes this cartoon funny. In a way it is sort of a good news / bad news scenario, one that I’m sure many women have faced, although not in this much exaggerated detail. However I’m thinking that any lady who is stressed over the possibility of being pregnant can relate to this.
By the way there are many more images and stuff on the site, so browse away, and if you have anything humorous you’d like to submit, by all means do!
“…and this, children, is why you do not use drugs…”
In this dumb guy meme, apparently this guy tried to rob a bank after having paid $500 to a “wizard” to make him invisible. I see the logic, I really do. I’d think about doing the same thing if I could be invisible, for a little while anyway, which brings up the first questionable thinking. What if you had all this money and you were still invisible? Wouldn’t that make it hard to spend the money? And carrying the visible money around, wouldn’t that make you, or at least it, visible? Pile of money just floating around to and fro for no good reason is highly suspicious.
Oh, and they spelled “Hemet ” wrong….
Ok, so his plan was to rob the bank. Would he then go back to said “wizard” and pay to be made visible again? What’s to stop the wizard from demanding all the stolen money in exchange for restored visibility? Further, if the wizard had the power to make you invisible, why would he take your $500 rather than simply manifest $200,000,000 whenever he wanted to? Alright, I suppose there are some sort of wizard rules, right?
So the knucklehead goes into the bank and starts grabbing money out of peoples hands. Think here, you’re invisible, you could simply walk into the vault and take what you want. Oh yes, that’s right, the money is still visible.
Last note on the dumb guy meme. It supposedly happened in Tehran, which is in Iran. The guy pictured in the meme does not appear to be Iranian. In fact in a nation like Iran I doubt he would have lived after such an event, and find it even more unlikely a meme with his picture would have escaped that nation onto the web as a meme, so thinking it through I’m calling BS.
Peeking around the corner of the computer again are you beer?
Not now beer! I’m trying to get things done! There’s a time for work, a time for studying, and a different time for beer, but sometimes beer just won’t take no for an answer and sneaks up on you unawares, the bastard. Be strong, be firm, and tell that beer no! Beer’s time will come, sooner or later.
You’ll notice it isn’t yogurt, nor granola, nor wine or anything thing else that is foo foo, but beer! Beer is bold, beer is slick, and beer’s been helping ugly people get laid for thousands of years.
Eat more pizza, eat even more of it, because fat people are harder to kidnap! Not that pizza makes you fat, but enough of anything will eventually make you harder to take. Hell, I can’t think of one good reason to NOT enjoy more pizza! There’s a saying coffee and pizza have in common. Even bad pizza is still pizza. Frozen pizza like Red Baron, DiGiorno, Tombstone, even Tony’s in a pinch will see you through. Seriously, it’s hard to go wrong with any of them. So call up your local joint, thick or thin crust, and order today. Just hold the anchovies. Seriously, that’s gross.