Open Box

Open the Pizza Box? Uh, yeah…

THAT’s what I’ve been doing wrong all this time!

Open Box
Open Box

Open box first, huh? There’s so much going wrong here. First off, at least where I live the pizza box often tastes better than the pizza itself. More to the point, you have to OPEN the pizza box pictured first to see the print telling you to open the box before eating the pizza because the print is IN the box!!! Seriously, have we really gotten this dumb? Are we really this de-evolved that things like this are necessary? Honestly, in this area we really have gotten this dumb.

Good Reason to Burn Books

This is a really good reason to burn books

Good Reason to Burn Books
Good Reason to Burn Books

Funny signs make me laugh, and this sign is witty, funny, humorous. This is true, but you could always check out a bunch and burn books after you read them. Become informed and learned, and keep warm at the same time. It’s straight to the point, tells the truth, is hopelessly optimistic, absurd as it is, but it left something out of the list of possibilities: You could burn the book and be warm. Not if it was a kindle of course, that would be stupid. I wonder if this actually got them any business? I’ll bet it did, people love witty signs.

Explains a LOT

Explains a lot about Desserts

I do believe this explains a lot! Stressed is desserts in reverse!

Explains a LOT
Explains a LOT

Yep, so I’m going to have dessert after all, it has a BUILT IN excuse! This explains a lot. One of few words that is magic backwards. Beer = reeb. Nope. Booze = ezoob. Medication = noitacidem. Nuh uh. Yeah, desserts may be the ONLY one! So when someone gives you hell about that HUGE bowl of ice cream, or that extra slice of pie, just scream that you are stressed! And if you’re a pastry chef, you’re actually doing a vital service and deserve a big fat raise!

Pie, cake, ice cream, donuts, cheesecake, muffins, oh my God yes.
See how lucky you are to have me around to explain this to you? I’m a giver 🙂

Grab Me Now

Grab Me Now

Grab Me Now while you can! The things that make you say “Oh thank heaven, for seven eleven.”

Grab Me Now
Grab Me Now

Erm, oh, never mind. Funny how little tiny mis-spellings can SO change meanings, I mean, an innocuous sales sign becomes, well, pornographic almost. Many times this is done on purpose, but no, not in this instance. I’m sure somebody lost their job. After a good laugh, or course. Did you know 7-11 got its name from their original hours? 7Am to 11AM, back when regular grocery stores were open far shorter hours, you could count on 7-11, but you’d pay a far higher price.

I Have Reservations

I’ll Pass on Dinner Thank You

I have Reservations. Not to eat here, but about eating at a placed named this. Fatal Restaurant? Yikes! How about Soylent Green? Or maybe Eat Me. Bite Me. You’re For Dinner? Sit Down, Shut Up And Eat?

I Have Reservations
I Have Reservations

If dinner was free, and the meal could, but not necessarily would, prove fatal, would you eat it? I wouldn’t, I’d zip down the road to Del Taco and eat til full for relatively little money and the odds of me dying from the meal would be almost nil. This restaurant has the word Fatal right in the name, but I’m sure that’s a word that has a slightly different meaning where ever this is in the world than it would in somewhere like L.A.

Family Owned

Family Owned Business Sign

Have you ever worked for a family owned business where the family members also worked? I have, and the butting of heads is really something to behold. So much so, and usually over petty stuff, that it can make everyone uncomfortable.

Family Owned
Family Owned

It can be so childish, this situation, and watching siblings in a family owned business, adults mind you, argue like they are 6 years old is never good. Apparently that childhood rivalry takes a long time to evaporate in many cases. Then again there are situations where that is not the case, where everybody is pulling together lest they pull apart. Generally speaking they do better work, and are often more successful.

Think of the puppies

Don’t Shoplift!

Think of the puppies. If you don’t, you’ll regret it, this is cruel and unusual, a painful death, to be sure. The commercials are bad enough one at a time! And besides, getting shot and locked away for a long time would be bad too, but you may prefer that!

Think Of The Puppies
Think Of The Puppies

You know, her commercials for the ASPCA are a huge asset in saving innocent animals, but the thing is, they are just way too long. Whenever people see one come up on their TV screen everyone lets out a long, low, collective groan, even if said groan is only in their head, it is still there.

Always Confirm

Baptist Sign Say Confirm or Ignore

Confirm, always confirm. The baptists many times have the best signs. Then you walk in and boom, fire and brimstone. If that’s your thing, great, but me, I’ll still like the signs.

Always Confirm
Always Confirm

These signs make me wonder how effective they are in getting people in the door. Not funny signs in general, they are effective, but funny signs on Baptist churches. Baptists are know for their fire and brimstone, everyone is going to hell approach, so repent not and be saved, it is fiery, and all well and fine for them. But when I see their signs, though I may laugh because they are funny, I also think in the back of my head, “Nice try. I know you guys, it’s not all laughs and giggles once you’re in there.”

Funny Signs Seems Legit

Pizza Sign – Seems Legit

From the department of Funny Signs seems legit. Sure dinosaurs are now extinct because they never had Woody’s pizza. I mean, why not? I know I’d be extinct without pizza. Oh sure, you could argue that science shows they died millions of years ago, but had there been pizza you can’t say for sure that dinosaurs wouldn’t still be around. You don’t KNOW that.

Funny Signs Seems Legit
Funny Signs Seems Legit

So if science ever manages to clone dinosaur DNA and bring those giant lizards back to life, they had better make sure to have lots of pizza at the ready!

Funny Bathroom Sign

Funny bathroom sign

Funny Bathroom Sign
Funny Bathroom Sign

This funny bathroom sign makes you wonder how that works and what sort of establishment this is.
You know, there was a time when taking photos in a public bathroom would be considered weird, but the sign definitely trumps that. I don’t know if I want to make friends in the bathroom. In fact I know I don’t, I just want to do my business and get out of there. Now if this sign was over the front door of the place, yes, I get it, but in the shitter? No.