Cat Norris

Cat Norris You’ve heard all the Chuck Norris jokes, unless you’ve been living on Mars, and even then you probably have (Mars only circles the sun because Chuck Norris told it to), but have you heard about Cat Norris? Yep, Cat Norris is a beast, a lot like Chuck. You best watch out because if … Read more

Monkey Valentine

My Monkey Valentine I don’t think this is going to end well for my monkey valentine Just look at those huge eyes, how they adore you, that small supple nose and slightly smiling mouth. I think love is in the air, yes indeedy. Wait, here come those words! Here they come! You’re waiting for it, … Read more

Grumpy Cat Christmas

Grumpy Cat Christmas

Grumpy Cat Christmas
Grumpy Cat Christmas

It’s a Grumpy Cat Christmas, with Grumpy Cat singing. “Dashing through the no. Get of of my way. Weaving to and fro. I haven’t got all day (hey) You better move right now. You great big sorry cow. I’ll run you over just like that then run you down again. Jingle bells, go to hell…”
Grumpy cat is of course a charming fellow with a way of twisting words to the anti-social breaking point, but that’s why everybody loves him. Ok, let’s face it, I tried, but grumpy cat is a dick, ok?

Grumpy Cat Christmas Jingle Bells

Grumpy Cat Christmas Jingle Bells

Grumpy Cat Christmas Jingle Bells
Grumpy Cat Christmas Jingle Bells

Grumpy Cat Christmas Jingle Bells. He sure does have a way with words. I would like to hear him, or at least read up, on his take on the whole song. Probably goes something like “Jingle Bells Go To Hell, Come Here Suck My Butt. I Hate You, You Know It’s True, This Is So Very Gay, Hey! Suck My Ass, Smoke Some Grass, Or Go Suck An Egg, I’m Done Here, So Lick My Rear, So Glad Christmas Is Here.”
May need sopme fine tuning, but you know, record it, maybe it could be on a new Christmas special freaturing the one and only Grumpy Cat.

Funny Christmas Dog

Funny Christmas Dog

Funny Christmas Dog
Funny Christmas Dog

Funny Christmas Dog represents Santa, and he says You Have Been Naughty. But you knew that already, didn’t you? But I’ll bet you didn’t know that Santa uses your pets to rat you out on your naughty and nice behavior, now did you? So when you tease rover with maple bacon or even regular dog treats, you’ll think twice about it. Take him out for a walk, a stroll on the beach, out to a nice restaurant and a movie now and again., or else 🙂
Be nice to mans best friend or Santa will leave you a lump of coal. Or worse.

Redneck Dogs

Redneck Dogs

Redneck Dogs
Redneck Dogs

Is this that famous trio, Curly, Larry and Moe, the redneck dogs? I doubt it, more like Cletus, Zeke and Billy Bob, but whatever their names these guys are funny looking. I’m 99% sure the teeth were photoshopped into their gobs, as I have never seen dogs with teeth like these. A classic funny no matter though. “Them there dogs don’t hunt.” Well, if I were a dog with chompers like that I wouldn’t even go outside, so give these fellers their due. And you know what else, I’ll bet they hunt just fine, taking their pent up appearance angst out on everything that moves, then retiring in the evening for some lovin and moonshine.

Redneck Dog House

Redneck Dog House

Redneck Dog House
Redneck Dog House

This works as a redneck dog house, sure, but it is an afterthought, I’m pretty sure. The shell was stored, the table stored, so some redneck said “Why not? I’ll just open that there back and let the dogs use it as a dog house.” It looks like the dogs are using is intended as well.
Quick PSA here: If you have outdoors dogs have some sort of shelter for them. Rain, cold, snow, these can be unhealthy for your dogs at best, and lethal at worst when a dog has no shelter. Leaving your dog outside curled up on the concrete slab in weather is plain wrong, evil, inhumane. This contraption would work, but the wide opening at the bottom would do little to stop cold air from entering, but it is better than nothing at all. If you wouldn’t live in certain conditions, why would you make mans best friend live in them?

Redneck Rabbits

Redneck Rabbits

Redneck Rabbits
Redneck Rabbits

Redneck rabbits say “Eff the Easter Bunny, he ain’t nothin’!” Like human rednecks they tend to have a gazillion offspring, but at least you won’t catch the rabbit version with the whole gaggle dressed funny at Walmart. Yeah, you’ll catch them drinking and smoking in public but hey, don’t judge! Like most rednecks it’s not like they have to be at work in the morning, they’ll be busy foraging for food and drink, like Cheetos and PBR, so don’t you worry none ’bout them, they’ll be just fine. On another note has anyone seen this rabbit’s Caterpillar cap?

Grey Poupon

Grey Poupon

Grey Poupon
Grey Poupon

Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon? I like this stuff on some things, but usually I stick with the tried and true yellow mustard. But an ape asking for grey poupon is preposterous! What is he going to put it on, bananas? Yuk! Never mind that apes only talk in the movies… and my nightmares.
I actually found this ape image, without the text, on a fellow webmaster’s site as I was trying out his program. It was hidden in the profiles photos. To me, when I found it, it looks liked a friendly type chap, the type that may ask you for a favor or something. Something like mustard. And there you go.