Hey Santa, hasn’t anyone told you that crack kills? So Santa sees you when you’re sleeping, knows if you’ve been bad or good, but doesn’t know he sat on an elf that’s now wedged in his butt? How fat is Santa anyway? He can’t sense the elf because the elf is long dead, but another question, Santa’s placing four missing signs, yeah? Who but Santa and the elves that live with him alone at the north pole (some kinky stuff going on there, ya think?) would even see these signs? Ah, I see, Santa knows, yes he does, and he’s covering his tracks.