We thought we’d take today off since it’s President’s day, but after thinking it over it is still Monday, and that’s always a drag, so we’re putting out (giggity) anyway with Blonde Jokes Weekly 11
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Blonde Joke – Speeding
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for speeding, Ma’am. Could I see your drivers license?”
“What’s a license?” replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. “It’s usually in your wallet,” replied the officer.
After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.
“Now may I see your registration and insurance card?” asked the cop.
“What are those?” asked the blonde.
“They’re usually in your glove compartment,” said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman’s license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, “Is this woman driving a red sports car?”
“Yes.” replied the officer.
“Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?” asked the dispatcher.
“Yes.” replied the cop.
“Here’s what you do,” said the dispatcher. “Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants.”
“What? I can’t do that. It’s inappropriate!” exclaimed the cop.
“Trust me. Just do it.” said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs
“Oh no, not another breathalyzer!”
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Mental Blonde Joke
A blonde says to her psychiatrist: “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”
Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a cell phone?”
Blonde: “That is a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Psychiatrist: “So how’s that working?”
Blonde: “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet.”
Psychiatrist: “And why do you think that is?”
Blonde: “I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”
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Blonde Jokes Weekly – Blonde Quickies
What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It’s difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop.
Why don’t blondes get coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
What is every blonde’s ambition in life?
To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
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Soda Blonde Joke
Two blondes decided to split a can of Diet Coke. One blonde opened the can, and poured half the contents into her own glass, and half into her friend’s glass. Before tossing the can, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side.
“‘Only one calorie per can’,” she read aloud.
“Hmm,” murmured the other blonde, “I wonder which glass has the calorie?”
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