What Santa Does

What Santa Does

Somebody asked me what Santa does the rest of the year. I jokingly said he smokes crack, beats the wife, then rapes the elves, and that’s just the first day. Yeah, I know, coal for me this year. Here is the real answer by the way, and I don’t blame him a bit.

Merry Christmas What Santa Does

Merry Christmas What Santa Does

However that doesn’t mean he does not do those things, the cranky, judgmental old fat bastard. Then he goes invisible and lopes around searching for some girls gone wild action, maybe then a little sports fishing, followed by mugging some homeless folks. ¬†Well, he had to do something normal, like sports fishing. By the way, that glass he’s holding? Fresh squeezed iced elf bladder. Pee, in other words.

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