Weekly Blonde Jokes 8

Here we are once again, sending out the jokes, this time it is Weekly Blonde Jokes 8! We post these every Monday to help put a smile on peoples faces as they head back to work on the gloomiest day of the week. And you folks that love Mondays? You’re weird. I’ll bet you are the very same ones who got excited as kids when the back to school stuff started coming in the mail, and the ads started in on TV. Freaks.
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A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, “I’m hanging myself because I’m tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!”
Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied around her ankle. The husband said, “I thought you were hanging yourself.”
She said, “Yes, I am!”
The husband replied, “Usually when people hang themselves they tie the rope around their neck. Why is yours tied around your ankle?”
She replied, “I tried that, but I couldn’t breathe!”
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Blonde Quickies – Weekly Blonde Jokes 8

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

How can you tell if your gardener is a blonde?
Your green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
Fertilized
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A blonde and a redhead went to a bar after work for a drink. They sat down on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50.
The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
But the blonde insisted saying, “No. A bet’s a bet.”
Then the redhead said “Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
And the blonde replied “Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”
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A blonde woman is walking down the street with her blouse open.
A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, “Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman’s right breast is hanging out.” As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When the cop gets face to face with the blonde he says, “Ma’am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?”
She says, “Why, officer?”
“Well, your breast is hanging out.”
She looks down and says “Oh my god! I left the baby on the bus!”

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